In loving memory...

Hello again, world.

Why the absence?

Well, mostly it's because of a very sad happening that occured.

My ballroom/latin dance partner/long time friend (from primary school) passed away on the 4th.
He was a beautiful, loving, happy go lucky young man who will be sorely missed.

Will never forget him.

This is what I wrote about him, for those who haven't seen it already (skip past it if you have):

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Memories of Chris (flicking through the scrapbook in my mind)

Looking through the pictures,
flicking through my mind
I remember your kind and vivacious spirit


When you were around the room became livelier
When you were there people smiled
And when you were there I was happier

I recall primary school
You wore the same sweater all the time
You liked to play in the quad with friends

I remember once I was on your team but then I turned against you
You were grumpy, but you forgave me

I remember you at my parties
You had a crazy amount of energy
You had these weird made up sayings
That you’d go through phases in using
I always wondered why you did that
But it’s something I won’t forget

In those days
Your voice hadn’t broken yet
I even remember you singing
I have it recorded
You loved the camera then
And you never grew out of that

I remember the giant Easter egg you got me
…and when you went overseas you’d bring me something back
I still have the jewellery you got me
I remember you when I wear it
I used that Paris bag until it broke

I remember hanging out
We didn’t need to do anything
The company was enough

We talked for hours about nothing
We played DDR and you showed me your rubix cube skills

One day you wanted to show me
how to make goo
..Except we had green MnM’s
And that had my sole attention
You tried to guard them
But slowly they disappeared

We chased a rabbit once
It kind of drove you crazy…

We were on a train that was full
So we sat on the steps.

You made me a CD,
I still have it

You wrote me letters
I still treasure them

You took me four wheel driving
I was scared half to death
And although it was thrilling
I think I prefer normal driving

Once before a dance
We were practicing in your cul-de-sac
Only for a short time
But I still managed to get burnt
I went to the dance like a lobster
But it didn’t matter to you

You helped me become more confident
We grew together in our love for dance
You protected me from scary people
You were always proud to show me off
I felt special

...and only wanted to dance with you

You were an amazing dancer
I remember watching your exams
I remember competing with you

You went to my Balls
And I went to yours
I loved the corsage you made me
And the way your Mum made sure our colours matched
We were the only ones dancing
Ballroom and Latin
and we certain got their attention

We helped teach your neighbours how to dance
for their wedding
We weren’t even certified
but I think we did a great job

You came as Mickey Mouse to my 18th
You were at girly sleepovers
You made friends with my puppy
Everyone loved you

You went shopping with me
We had frozen coke -
How you loved frozen coke!

You came with me for New Years
So I wouldn’t be alone
You hurt yourself and we had to go to the hospital
It was a strange way to pass the time,
But you made friends with the nurse
and I think we grew stronger

You gave me advice
Because I was shy
and I've tried to live by your words

You looked out for me when I needed help
you made me feel safe

Your hugs were unbeatable
And I’ve tried to pass on that legacy
I thought of you like a brother

You saw me off at the airport,
Before my big adventure
I was looking forward to seeing you in the uni break
To catching up with everything I’d missed
And telling you about Disney
But that was the last time I got to see you

Last night I wanted to feel you again
I danced, and you came
I felt the music course through me
And I could see you,
your huge grin,
your practiced frame.
I held your coarse hands
You span me around.
I could feel your muscles
I could feel your warmth
And you ‘dance flirted’ with me
For old times sake
I knew when you were confused or about to make a mistake
You knew when I made errors too
Yes, you were there with me

You made me laugh
You made me cry
You made me a better person

Every time I see your face,
I may shed a tear
But inside I’m smiling
because I know you’re there

On my mind
within my pictures
Inside my heart.



Love you forever, brother.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a sad time, but I've been coping the best I can. My BF (who oddly enough is also called Chris (yes, I killed the alias, but doesn't really matter anymore...) has been helping to distract my mind from it.




Is it possible that spirits exist, I wonder?
Last night I had this dream. Chris (my friend) came and sat next to me (I was watching something with a whole bunch of people around me). We had this really random conversation but I was laughing so he was obviously being his usual happy self.
In the end he stood up and left despite my internal protests. But it was like this innate knowledge between us that we had to part.
It was as if he came to visit me to show he was doing OK and that he cares, and to remember him as the happy person he was.

Possible that it was mre than a dream? Did his spirit visit me in my sleep?
Who knows....

I hope he visits again, but I guess he has lot of friends to visit so may be while... ;)


His memorial service is this tuesday. I'm going with Bri and Richard (who is flying up - YAY!).
Luckily I talked to my lecturer and she's letting me sit the exam a day early (yay me) so I can go to it.


Toay I went for a long walk to hand in my POLS essay only to get really MAD because the place was closed. So the only time I can do it is monday MORNING. Argh. LAME.
Why can't the lecturer make it so we can deposit our essays at the campus where everything IS. ...including our lectures!!! ARGH. Stupid.

My throat is doing weird things. It keeps hurting on and off. Driving me crazy.

Uhm. Yeah.
That's all for now!

RIP Chris M.




























xx